Morgan Freeman says it best: “Go The Fuck To Sleep”
I think every parent know that frustration of getting to the end of the day and your child will not go to sleep. For some its just a faze and for others its a constant nightly battle. Your child could right a book on excuses to delay the inevitable bedtime. They have never had to pee more, drink more, or been more starving then at bedtime.
And us as parents?? We are freaking exhausted. We just want some quiet. Some down time. Some me time. Kids just don’t care!
If you are the parent of a child who goes to bed peacefully and on their own, then your a unicorn and will be the subject of tonight’s voodoo doll…..Just kidding, kinda, no really I am, maybe.
So all this bedtime battles normally takes place when kids are toddlers and maybe a bit older. But what happens when this battle is still taking place in an older child? When it turns from just not wanted to go to bed, to anxieties about going to bed. And I am not writing this because I have any tips or tricks. Actually I’ve have none.
I am writing this because I have none and desperately need some.
My son is 12 years old. Extremely outgoing. Loves being busy and is very social and independent from us, except for at bedtime. He could be gone from first thing in the morning to late and night and be completely fine away from my husband and I, but when bedtime hits he needs to be home. And not only that, he gets anxious at bedtime. He has these anxieties about being awake and we are asleep. Or not being aware of where we are in the house while he is trying to fall asleep.
He will not go for sleepovers at friends houses. And he doesn’t even try to make excuses as to why he can’t. He just tells them outright that he likes sleeping at home. He is not at all embarrassed about it.
Now that he is getting old though, he is wanting to stay up later. I am getting older and going to be earlier. This is not a winning situation. And I will say, and my husband will be completely agree, I am to blame in a lot of this. I enabled it to happen for far longer than it should have. Laying with him to fall asleep well past the years when he should have been learning to self sooth.
And I will agree a lot of it was purely selfish. It was the end of the day and I just wanted him to go the fuck to sleep! So why not lay with him if that was the fastest route from A to B.
Well his sleep anxieties now are why not!!!
So I am asking for help. Have you experienced this with your older son or daughter, and if yes? What helped? Did they just grow out of it on their own? Tough love?
I have read many articles but they always seem to be geared towards younger children. Nothing much for the older child.
We have tried Melatonin, but I really don’t want him to become dependant on a sleeping aid. He gets tons of exercise. Eats pretty well.
Really it just about getting him past this fear. And I’d like to break it now because I don’t want him to miss out on things in life…… Let’s secure the unsecure!