Kids | Sleep | Secure The Unsecure

Morgan Freeman says it best: “Go The Fuck To Sleep”

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I think every parent know that frustration of getting to the end of the day and your child will not go to sleep.  For some its just a faze and for others its a constant nightly battle.  Your child could right a book on excuses to delay the inevitable bedtime.  They have never had to pee more, drink more, or been more starving then at bedtime.

And us as parents??  We are freaking exhausted.  We just want some quiet. Some down time. Some me time.  Kids just don’t care!

If you are the parent of a child who goes to bed peacefully and on their own, then your a unicorn and will be the subject of tonight’s voodoo doll…..Just kidding, kinda, no really I am, maybe.

So all this bedtime battles normally takes place when kids are toddlers and maybe a bit older.   But what happens when this battle is still taking place in an older child? 478d8d7e0c63645b83a2a3d224459918When it turns from just not wanted to go to bed, to anxieties about going to bed.   And I am not writing this because I have any tips or tricks.  Actually I’ve have none.

I am writing this because I have none and desperately need some.

My son is 12 years old.  Extremely outgoing.  Loves being busy and is very social and independent from us, except for at bedtime.   He could be gone from first thing in the morning to late and night and be completely fine away from my husband and I, but when bedtime hits he needs to be home.  And not only that, he gets anxious at bedtime.  He has these anxieties about being awake and we are asleep.  Or not being aware of where we are in the house while he is trying to fall asleep.

He will not go for sleepovers at friends houses.  And he doesn’t even try to make excuses as to why he can’t.  He just tells them outright that he likes sleeping at home.  He is not at all embarrassed about it.

Now that he is getting old though, he is wanting to stay up later.  I am getting older and going to be earlier.  This is not a winning situation.  And I will say, and my husband will be completely agree, I am to blame in a lot of this.  I enabled it to happen for far longer than it should have.  Laying with him to fall asleep well past the years when he should have been learning to self sooth.

sleep7And I will agree a lot of it was purely selfish.  It was the end of the day and I just wanted him to go the fuck to sleep!  So why not lay with him if that was the fastest route from A to B.

Well his sleep anxieties now are why not!!!

So I am asking for help.  Have you experienced this with your older son or daughter, and if yes? What helped? Did they just grow out of it on their own? Tough love?

I have read many articles but they always seem to be geared towards younger children.  Nothing much for the older child.

We have tried Melatonin, but I really don’t want him to become dependant on a sleeping aid.  He gets tons of exercise.  Eats pretty well.

Really it just about getting him past this fear.  And I’d like to break it now because I don’t want him to miss out on things in life…… Let’s secure the unsecure!

Share Your World – May 28, 2018

If you were to pack a basket for picnic lunch, what would be in your basket?

Hmm…I’m not really sure.  I don’t even know if I have ever been on a picnic.  I would like pack a cooler instead and bring cold meats and cheeses.  Lots of cut up veggies and hummus or eggplant dip and definitely fruits like Watermelon,  Cantaloupe and Honey Dew Melon.

I will need to add a picnic to my bucket list.

On a vacation what you would require in any place that you sleep?

I need for it to be somewhat clean.  It doesn’t have to be 5 stars, but I don’t want to feel like I need to shower just from being in there.

 

If you were to buy a new house/apartment what is the top three items on your wish list?

First it would need to be an older, at least 50 plus years or more, home. I do not like new homes.  They are all the same.  Older homes have character and are somewhat unique.

Second, I would need to have the bedrooms away from the living area.

Third, 2 bathrooms for sure.

My husband would put a garage at the top of this list and bump everything down.

 

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?  Feel free to use a quote, a photo, a story, or even a combination.

We have a mill in our area which is set on a wooded area.  Hiking through the woods takes you to a watering hole.  Yesterday was super hot out, so I took my son and his friend to the mill to swim.  They were so thrilled and had a great time.

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Cee’s Photography – Share Your World – May 28, 2018

Share Your World – May 14, 2018

Here is my take on this week’s Share Your World from Cee’s Photography

Complete this sentence: This sandwich could really use some …

Genoa Salami.  I love the stuff.   I eat a lot of it.  On its own, in sandwiches/ wraps. Wrapped around Cheese Strings.  Maybe added in some red onion as well.  Yummy!

What is your least favorite candy?

Orange or yellow jelly beans.  Yuck!!! They are horrible.  Black are my favourite but there is just something about the taste of those two.

What sign are you? Do you believe in astrology?

I’m Cancer the Crab! I’ve never really put too much thought into it.  Sometimes I will read a horoscope but normally I will just pass them by.  I have read up on the characteristics of a cancer and they seem pretty accurate.

cancer

 

What did you appreciate or what made you smile this past week?

My son turned 12 on Saturday.  Every year I make a cake for him.  This is the only time of year that I make cakes.  They have been very elaborate over the years and each year I say that I am never doing it again.  But of course this year I decided to do yet another32287728_10156049217362247_7406068363421548544_n one.  The only problem this year was that I was crunched for time.  Any even though the cake wasn’t that difficult, it was somewhat time consuming.  And right from the get go I had problems.  First the fondant ripped on the hat, then I did have red icing and didn’t have time to go to the store.  So by the time I accidently dropped a can of soup on the one corner of the cake, smooshing it to pieces all I could do was laugh. It was cursed.

But my son loved it and that was all that really mattered.

Don’t Wish The Sh!t Away

Tomorrow my one and done turns 12.   Where does the time go???

I remember the early years of his life, specifically the first 3.  I used to call my mom, so upset, just wanting the day to go by faster.  Or for him to get out of whatever stage he was going through.  She always used to say not to wish his life away, that the days and years go by so fast that I will look back and wonder where the hell time went.

cba5795fa0ecee2725d4126663763560--mama-quotes-humor-quotesNow at the time, in the thick of things, I never believed her.   I mean lets face it, for me anyways, being a parent to a needy, crying, shitting baby or a toddler full of temper tantrums that Won’t. Go. To. Sleep, is not all its cracked up to be. But now looking back, I realize how right she was.  The years have flown by.  Time went through the hour glass much faster then I could have ever imagined.

The trials and tribulations of the baby and toddler years are long gone. And while each new year brings with it new challenges, I have long stopped wishing his days away.  I take time at the end of the each day to just hang out with him.  Usually an hour or so before his bedtime.  Sometimes he will chat about his day or we will talk about mine. If anything is bothering him I know this is the time when he will tell me.  Other times we do nothing but read. 91c9293b7383760e2835ee9edbacfa38

So for the days when I would have put him out with the recycling, to now when I wouldn’t give him away for anything in the world (most days anyways), I tell all moms and dads to enjoy single day.  Even the days when they’ve shit themselves in the jolly jumper and they are up to their ears in crap.

So Happy 12th to my kidlet and Happy Mothers Day to all parents out there. May the odds be ever in our favour!

Your Beliefs Are Uniquely You

I do not believe in God!

Gasp!!! Shoot down the lightening bolts now and mark my place in Hell!

Just not my thing.  For me I need proof that God exists and not just a book that has told me so.

When we had our son,  my husband and I chose not to push any religion on him.  We decided that whatever his religious beliefs would be, they need to be chosen by him.  This is not something that we can decide for him, nor should we.  If he asks questions, I answer them.  If he ever wanted to explore the different religions and wanted to go to church I would take him.  The choices are his and his alone.  And the possibilities are endless.

The belief within our home is that we will treat all people with kindness and respect. Weit-is-your-choices-that-make-you-uniquely-you-quote-1 will be polite.  We will work hard and do what is best to be true to ourselves.  And that we will not judge other peoples choices.  That we are not infallible. That we are human.

Let your beliefs be whatever they may be. Whatever power you believe in let it be true to you! All choices should be celebrated.  It doesn’t make you a rebel, it makes you uniquely you!

The Daily Post – Daily Prompt – Rebel

Side Note: I love stories of the saints. I also love the unearthly energy and architecture of old churches. I find them very romantic.

**This post was inspired by a fellow blogger, Acquiescent Soul. **